When I was nine, my aunt was visiting from India, where she was living. I was living with my Mom in an apartment in Västerås, Sweden, after her divorce from my Dad. I was in a very bad mood, but I didn't know why. I felt I had no agency, and no right to say no. My aunt gave me money to go to a coffee house (which hardly was available when I grew up, and I didn't drink coffee anyway), and she chastised me for my bad mood.

I often think back at that time, and how I experienced life then. I felt so incapable of changing my fate. It took me years after that to realize how much power I had to change my reality. The first time I felt that shift, was when I was an exchange student in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I came across Tony Robbins seminal book, 'Awaken the Giant Within'. The book itself didn't shift everything either, but I had ended up in the US, because I had a deep desire to be in the US, and I decided to fight for that desire to come true. Each step since has been a journey. There are still days where I move into some form of collapse and freeze-stage, and feel sorry for myself. The way out is three-folded:

If I could go back in time, I would invite the nine year-old girl to try three things:

1. Put on your wildest dance tune, and dance for a few minutes. Just to come home to your body. 
2. Name what is creating the bad mood. Start by acknowledging that there is a bad mood. Through that process, something will relax. And then I would say. "Well, you know what you don't want. What do you want?"
3. Name what you desire. For many this is such a difficult process, because most of us don't know what we want. But it is a practice. The more we are in our desires, the easier it gets. 

I wish she had had these tools. I need to remind myself to use these tools too, at times. And I wish you will use these tools for you, if they resonate with you. They are deceptively simple, yet sometimes so strangely difficult to practice. 

Let me know how these tools land in you. Or share what works for you!